Yesterday morning I started a weekly update post. And there will be thoughts on that posted, but you won’t see it for a few days. Why?  Because it turned into a day of Ups and Downs. It started fairly low key in the morning. We were chilling at home, Apba daddy had a meeting at church. It was going well until it was time to get dressed before he got home – so we could head to Adventureland in the afternoon for his company’s family outing.

For some reason, needing to get dressed triggered a meltdown. (Getting dressed has more than once, either for bed, or for the day.) An hour of screaming/crying/big tears. For 30 minutes – he wouldn’t even let me touch or hold him. All I could do was text Daddy to pray, pray myself, sing,  and keep trying to offer my arms and lap for comfort. Finally he let me hold him off and on – but he was still upset, and it was another half hour before we were calm and ready to get dressed.  I found myself wondering – “Are we crazy for going to an amusement park this afternoon?” “Maybe we should stay home and let the others go.” But we decided to go – and I’m so glad we did. It was like a hard reboot on the day. Change of scenery, getting out together as a family, and having some fun. Most people may question our decision – and to be fair – we were prepared to leave if needed. But – with this being a company outing, with tickets, parking and lunch provided, we felt it was worth a shot.

The afternoon was amazing. The boys were troopers. We laughed, we smiled. Held hands and high fived. We also built a lot of trust today. We did not push him to do anything he didn’t want to do. The boys enjoyed the kid rides – (G was fine and thrilled as long as he could see us and wave.) and They loved the balloon ride. In fact, Lucas and I rode it 3 times, and Daddy and George joined us for two of those. I have to say, I do NOT like rides that go in circles. Add that it goes up and down to that, and my usual response is NOPE. But, the boys loved it, and we could do it as a family. Together. So I worked to ignore the queasy stomach, and focused on the joy on the boys faces.

Tonight – we stopped at Z’maricks for dinner (kids eat free on Saturday!) G’s housemother had told us he does not like spicy things. I think that means something totally different than what we thought. He turned down the penne with butter and parmesan we got him (already knew he doesn’t care for mac and cheese) but ate my spicy udon noodles just fine. Then tonight his feet must have hurt – because he was taking my hands and having me rub them. But again, he was letting me help him.

So, it was a day of ups and downs – and I needed both the ups and downs. And, more importantly, so did G. It’s hard. It’s painful. We still have a lot to work through. But, he is starting to let us help and comfort him. We also need fun family times. But I need to remember that I also need to get out of my comfort zone for the boys best interest. Today it was riding the balloon ride multiple times 🙂 Just another up and down.